Edward Dando: The Oyster Thief Who Didn’t Give a Shuck | The Spill

Ever heard of a man so committed to eating for free that he made it a full-time job and a criminal record? Meet Edward Dando, the 19th-century Londoner who scammed his way through more oysters than a hangry TikTok influencer with a seafood sponsorship.

In this Spill, we dive into the (surprisingly well-documented) life of a dude who got drunk, smashed shellfish, stiffed the bill, and then asked for more, like some kind of Victorian-era Chad. Was he a folk hero? A chaotic grifter? A man with a death wish and a stomach of steel? Join us as we try to figure out whether Dando was a menace to society or just one of history’s greatest freeloaders.

This one’s fast, funny, and loaded with mollusks. Let’s get into it.

#oysters #truecrime #history #freeloader #edwarddando #arsenicculture #funnyhistory #londoncrime

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Transcript

0:03

Show 'em legs. Just fucking show your legs. It looks weird when like for, that's the only, that's the only fans right there. We'll start Our that's the Patreon right there. Patreon. One of Jason's pasty Legs, Level be out like this. level, level one. You get that much Leg level two. we're recording right now. I'm gonna No, we're not. shit. Yeah. We're You gotta pay for it. Arsenic Culture's First Patreon. This is the, uh, free teaser content That we give you. so that way you can uh, free. I'm I'm Matt. I'm Jason. I'm Drew. And, uh. and after this you actually have to start giving us money. Geez. you. hear that Fucking God's mad at you, buddy. I know you making fun. Apparently We're not doing a Patreon God said Nope. not doing that. Um, but let me ask you a question. Have you ever dined and dashed? I've actually not. Never. I think if you would, you probably wouldn't say so. That's a pretty I, it's one, it's like a, for me, it's like taking the grocery cart back. It's like, I gotta take What's a lot worse than No, but I mean, it's like, it's like I have, I, I have to I get that. I get mean? Have you? No. Have you ever, you drew, you've worked in the food industry? Have you ever had somebody dine Dash on? you? I have. I have not I've seen it happen. Yeah, it happened. Um, I, I spent 10 years, uh, being like a waiter. I did fucking busing tables, managing everything in between. I've never had anybody dine Dash, I don't think. I guess it probably could have happened I was just like, fuck it.'cause it wasn't my money. But, um, I, I think universally speaking, people think that's pretty shitty thing. Yeah, To do. right? lowest of the lowest It kind of is. It kind of is. I, I know. cart. Take it back. back, what do you keep talking about, A fucking grocery you gotta take this shit back. do. I mean, you're right. Yeah, but you can't leave it in the middle of the parking lot. Come on. I know, but you also don't pay for the grocery cart, so, groceries at, at all of you do. Oh god damn. You right. Okay. Take back Well, played sir, Well, played touche. Well, I'm gonna tell a little story about, uh, Edward. Dando. This is, uh, he was considered, he not considered, he was called the Oyster Thief. This was back in the early 18 hundreds in London. Um, is is that Kentucky? It's not. London, Kentucky. And This is also in the uk. We've been doing a lot of stories in the UK lately. Uh, but This was in London, England. Um, Edward Dando was a former hatter in the 1820s. He became notorious for eating massive amounts of food, especially oysters, and then refusing to pay. Either like outright and being belligerent or just fucking running away. Um, damn. He, uh, his most famous instances, one time he ate 25 dozen oysters dozen dozen with a loaf. of Oh god. Yeah. With a loaf. And a half of bread in one sitting. I know if I could eat 25 oysters, that's 300 oysters. I I 25 would be a lot. Could you imagine like I love oysters. I really do. the dates on this? is, uh, this is in the early 18 hundreds. wonder if like, wimpy the guy from Popeye remember that I'll pay you on Tuesday if hammer It is Yeah. Yeah. Well this guy was a little bit more like blunt. He was like, no, fuck you. I'm not gonna pay. Why would I have to pay for food that keeps me alive? That's basically his mantra. Uh, He was kind of like a degenerate. Um, um, there was another time in 1830 in August, he consumed 156 oysters, half a loaf of bread and five bottles of ginger beer immediately after getting out of prison. For running out on his bill from eating oysters and stealing beer. for the exact and lemme guess he didn't pay for Yes. He didn't pay for this one. and he didn't pay for this one either. there's an MO there. There is an mo This is, this is what they call him in the oyster Thief and I took, every single time we do content on here, we always have to enjoy a beverage with our show. I, you've had crabbies. ginger had crabbies I have Alcoholic ginger beer. I've had it a hundred times. I really enjoy it. I can't fucking find. it anywhere. I don't understand why, because there was, at one point you could get it at the grocery store. feel like it was everywhere. It really was. Uh, I went to a grocery store. I went to a, um, pharma pharmacy. I went to a small liquor store. I went to a huge liquor store, like the big, one of the biggest change, Nobody had it. Um, so I had to settle for regular Goslings, Which I enjoy, but it's, there's no alcohol in it, so I'm actually very aggravated Ryan Gosling buy that brand? Yeah. Go. uh, if Ryan Gosling is a seal Um, But um, I wonder if the crabbies has gone the same way as the, uh, wild Irish rose or whatever is. roast. It's possible. I don't understand why, why it wouldn't be at any store at all, because I bet this is cheaper and probably easier. It probably made like easier to get. Maybe the other one's harder, not alcohol. But this is non-alcoholic. That's what I'm saying. Like we gotta have alcohol. So I'm saying let's put some fucking alcohol in this. Yeah. So. It's, we're we're talking about a guy from London. I was like, maybe we could put some like London gin in there I didn't see on the shelf. So I got yellow spot Irish. Do You wanna do some fucking yellow spot? and put in there. We'll do like a uh, Pass it around here. I got some ice in here 'cause you're probably gonna need some I didn't see that coming, but, all right. Fucking, Who cares? I love when the show takes a hard left. it's most shows actually. grab a handful and put some ice. in So you talked about oysters though. I wanted to ask a question. So what's the most oysters you've eaten or you think you could eat? I have had 24 in one sitting. You yourself Solo. like small, right? Like not the on a dare? I they're, I mean, they're like, so I prefer medium to small. I don't want the, the big ones, the big oysters are just too much for me. Like, I don't, I would tend to agree. no, these were medium to small oysters. Okay. Um, but yeah, I remember going to a restaurant one time, this was, it was me and Kendra, and my wife, and I remember we got an order of 12 and I was like, man, this is really good. And we split 'em. and she had six and I had six and I was like, you wanna get another order. We were not wealthy at that time, but we like, wanted to act like we were you know how Sometimes you go out, been there. You've had a few drinks and you'd be like, you know what, let's spend outside of our means. And we got another order of 12 12 oysters and um, she ended up having like a few, and I ate all of 'em. that's typical of Yeah. And then I was like, fuck, those are good. And I was like, let's get more. And she was like, I can't get, more. And I was, and, but she was like, oh babe, you know, do whatever you want. You know, we're having a good time. I was like, fuck it. Give us another 12 oysters. And like I ordered 'em. She ate none. And I was like, I can't let these go to waste. So I ended up eating them were you at? Here in I can't, no. This was like, yeah. Yeah, but it was probably like carabas or something. I can't remember. It was like a chain or something like that. What, what about you drew? What's the most you think you could eat or have eaten? I I mean, I have a, I have a, a big appetite. Yeah, me too. But Quit laughing. Goddammit. I feel like maybe, maybe two dozen, maybe. think, I think my cap, I don't think I could eat more than 24. Like 24 would be, I'd be sick. I feel like even not I was, I was actually very sick. I don't think I threw up, but I wanted to throw up. Yeah. Like I probably, they were raw, right? course. Yeah. If you had 'em like a fried oyster, how would that be? They're not as good, they're not. No. But I could also fucking do 24 Friday. oyster's. No problem. I Yeah, that's, that's a lot. That, that dude was crushing them. This all began in about 1826. Um, he was arrested multiple times. Most many times he would actually leave. Prison for being arrested for dining and dashing. Immediately go out, binge eat and then get arrested again. prison food, shit, who yeah, they ain't got, oysters. the guy on TikTok, it's pretty, pretty, it looks pretty good The thing is, oysters now are kind of like a delicacy. Back then they were not even street food. They were like, like lobster too. Lobster was peasant That was the thing back then, right? Wasn't that the thing? Like lobsters Were never like a high class thing. Lobsters were not, no. were not. It was the same thing with oysters back. then. So he was like unapologetic. He was just like, you know Fuck it. I need to eat to live, so I'm gonna eat. And then he would eat, get drunk. and be like, I'm not paying for this was he a big man? Had to be. I don't I've never eating 300 always trees or whatever it is, you're a big dude. and See now I feel like I didn't do enough research because I feel like I should have actually looked for pictures. no, but there's not any, that's the thing. It's back in the 18 hundreds, like all the articles that I saw, like it didn't Actually show this guy, his mugshot was drawn in charcoal. They didn't have ai. back then. Definitely not. Yeah. Speaking of charcoal, there was a guy, there's a lady I used to work with a long time ago. Her husband at the time drew these characters like really good, take a picture and draw like charcoal drawings. So we had him draw some pictures for, uh, my mom and then my wife's mom for Christmas. So he drew Garrett, our son. I drew him. The first one's perfect, like it looked really good. Garrett was in like a little suit at a wedding. Like it looked really How old was he? probably six to six to seven, you know, like the suit's a little too big, you know? And then he drew that one perfect. And then the other one looked like he was deformed, dude. He had his head like, like this big says, all Like, I'm like, what the fuck is that? You The elephant man. like, dude, we can't, we can't give that to him, buddy. Um, a lot of times, uh, Edward Dando would go to prison. He would actually steal food in prison. Um, which I guess it was different back then.'cause nowadays you get. you Still food in prison, you're gonna get a fuck your ass beat. Shit. yeah, exactly. So I'm not sure, how that happened, but. worm? Maybe. I dunno. I'm I don't fucking know. That I'm over here looking for medical I know. Yeah. Uh, January, 1831, he was in court for nonpayment of soup and bread. Uh, he went to prison, goes back to court in February for stealing two glasses of brandy at a public house. uh, then, and also two plates of beef, a mode. Does that sound like something you've ever heard? of? Beef od? So mode. So a mode means like with ice cream, right? But all well with stuff on it, so it might not mean ice cream. Maybe it's like a different toppings. I read that and I was like, What the fuck is beef? Hollow mode. But it was, it was basically an that peasant food. Yeah. More Brandy Never paid for it before his sentencing. That time he was asked about his. Attire because he just walks in like a vagabond in court for the second time in a row in like as many days, right? He goes. oh, Beef OD is french pot roast. You're smart, dude. Thanks, Jason. I, There's no way I, read it from, a phone that you just handed handed me. yeah, thanks. Yeah, don't watch that. Just listen to it. Yeah, that never happened. He goes, the jacket I think came from Brixton. The waistcoat was bestowed upon me at a similar establishment in Guildford and the trousers I know I acquired by hard servitude in your Middlesex house. of correction. I'm indebted to the city authorities for the rest of my wardrobe. Every single piece of article clothing had on was from prison. All different kinds of prisons. That's how he like, that's all. he wore, yeah. He, he fucking mixed and matched his wardrobe with like different units of like different like prison attire, which I thought they would take that off you when you leave and like give you your old clothes. back, but I guess maybe you didn't have old clothes when you went in though. But again, this was like early 18 hundreds. So, but yeah, maybe he went in naked. it seriously makes me think it wimpy from, from Popeye. Like he had weird clothes, like oversized and shit, you know what I mean? The weird hat. But after that incident, he got, uh, released in October. The next day he went out and stole 108 oysters and ate 'em all. trying to, this was his defense. He would go into court and the way he would defend himself, um, he said this one time I refuse to starve in a land of plenty. I only run into debt to satisfy the craving. of hunger. Uh, uh, The magistrates were alternatively amused and exasperated public and press. Gamely reported his antics, like he kind of ended up becoming a full hero. Right. Um, just because he would just be like, fuck you, I'm going to eat because I'm hungry. Like, what are you gonna do to stop me? Which I guess they'd send him to prison for Is that the proletariat, right? Is the lower class or is proletariat upper class? don't know. Bourgeoisie is upper class, right. And I think it's upper. And then is proletariat like lower class? So he might have been like a lower class hero almost. Not really Is it the other way around. Great question. I don't It makes sense though. Like I can't Google it What's that term. Eviscerate. The proletariat. Where's that come from? Oh, that's a great question. I don't know. Is that, is that a saying? Yeah, that's like, it's like a line from a movie. maybe I got it wrong. I don't know. I'm just saying, so he basically was like a lower class, not really hero, but like folk hero. Okay. You're exactly right though. He was very much like. A lower class folk hero. He was embraced by like, people that would be like, you know what? Fuck the system. Just Yeah. We're not gonna start because of this. You're charging $18 for these oysters. And you said this was when? Early 18 Yeah. Like eight, yeah, like mid, early 18 hundreds. So it's interesting, the French Revolution, 1812, same sort of thing. them eat Oysters cake ding, ding, ding. Yeah. But it, it sort of, it's like same timeframe almost. Right. So I wonder if it was like a same thing like Yeah. The separation of the classes. He ended up dying of cholera in Cold Bath Fields Prison on August 28th in 1832. Uh, there was a pandemic at the time. I guess. Yeah, he was buried in the prison yard there. The legends say he was buried under a mound of oyster shells. I don't know that's true or not. That would be pretty cool though. That would be fucking badass. But like, he became like the folk antihero like we were talking about. Um, his name ended up being, uh, brought up in a bunch of like poems and ballads. People would write about him because I mean, that's pretty fucking badass. Um, Charles Dickens even came. out and said that, he was like, awesome, like. He was like, yeah, this is my guy. Um, his name entered the English lexicon, a dando quote unquote, uh, referred to someone who feasted and fled. And It was described in an 1878 slang dictionary. Um, yeah, so like, that's actually a word now. A dando comes from Edward Dando It's, I guess the D dash. but it has a it has a kind of like positive connotation. I know a guy with a last name Dan Doe. Literally. Yeah. I've never heard that last did he eat A bunch of. oysters and. No. He could throw a baseball really freaking hard though. Yeah. he was like, he had like a super like way more country accent than even than Jason. this guy would just throw pretty solid. outta baseball. I'm talking like 90 something miles an hour. Well, shit, you know what They say about oysters. I mean, they give you a lot of energy. So like, yeah, fucking drink that with a Red Bull and some wild Irish rose. That's the story. Nando though, like what do you think about our drink we made with the yellow spot in that? Mine's actually pretty good. It's not bad. I've been trying to focus on the, the content. Yeah. but like it is pretty good. I know it is I, I think I poured a little too much. Well, that wild. I was real. I mean the, um, sip of that was what you think. the, the combo on on the yellow spot is, um, it's so smooth. that's, I like, I like where I've got that one. I still wish I would've gotten some ginger beer made in Edinburgh, which is where crabby is made. because that would've been like apropo, Take a little sip of that one. I, I think I got it right Yeah. guess Like wherever the fuck Goslings have made, like Massachusetts or Texas or whatever it's made where seals are stormy. The seal, it's a little with the refreshing zip of ginger. Yeah. No, it's fucking good. It, it's pretty good. Yeah. I do like, I do like ginger beer. I make some, uh, mules per regularly and that was Edward Dan's, uh, drink of choice whenever he would steal oysters. Is is ginger ginger You know, we, I never make a mule at home, but I really like 'em when I go out, dude. I fucking love them. yeah. Yeah. Edward Dando. Cheers. You dead motherfucker. Buried under oysters. Hopefully. I don't really know. Cheers bitch. Yeah. Uh, guys, if you like that, then um, share it. If you didn't, then keep drinking until you do. For more arsenic culture, you can check us out on all the socials we are @arsenicculture like, and subscribe on YouTube we'll see. you on the next one.