What Do You REALLY Owe the Bartender? The Tipping Debate | Ep. 125

Tipping: everyone has an opinion, but no one agrees. Are you tipping too much? Not enough? And what do you actually owe your bartender?

We dive into the weird rules, unwritten etiquette, and the psychology of tipping in bars and restaurants. From under-tipping horror stories to debates on whether tipping culture has gone too far, we break it all down with our usual unfiltered take. 

What's your rule when it comes to tipping? Let us know in the comments. 

#tippingculture #bartenderlife #bars

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Transcript

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How much would you like to tip? And they give you the options, right? one's probably 15. It's like 15, 20, 25? They're Like no, hell no. You also know they're watching you like I feel that pressure. Like you see the eyes, you feel the eyes on you. Welcome back to Arsenic culture, where beer don't count. The bad decisions. do. I'm Matt. I'm Jason. I'm normal. I'm normal. I'm Everybody was. kung fu fighting. Actually, I was the only one Kung fu fighting. Um, I got another question for you guys. What do you tip your bartender? That's a tough question. I've, I went back and forth on this. I mean, It's a question, It's, it's it's also changed very drastically over the past, like eight It's a, it's a dollar a beer if I'm at a brewery for the most part. But just pour you a beer. Yep. Or they just take a can and they're just like Yeah. It makes me, it hurts my soul a little. bit, but it's a dollar. Yeah. But if you're at a restaurant and you've had dinner. and You've had like mixed drinks or if you had beer, then it's hard to remember to take that outta the 20% 'cause that makes that beer bill go up a lot. You know what I mean? If you're tipping 20, 25, 30% yeah, yeah. When you're drinking $10 mixed drinks or $15 mixed drinks. Yeah. Yeah. I still think a dollar, maybe two. Now, if it's for like just some basic, if it's something very, uh, in depth, like takes a while to make, I might go three depending on what it is, right Probably just like percentage. wise, 10%, 10%, like overall 10% on a drink. Okay. Well what about like, um, let's say you go to, uh, a bar and bartenders waiting on you and you get food. and You get a drink. What do you, what are you tipping Then I'll tip 20, 20 to 25% on the food itself, no matter what services. really. What about you? Same. I think that's about standard 20 is like my minimum. I just, when we were younger, drew, you and I worked in the food and beverage industry for a long time. Did you, you didn't do food and bev, You didn't work in a just, slung, I just slung Cracker Rock on the straight corners of Eastern. Kentucky. No, I, I didn't Really? that's considered a food product. I'd say you're about the same Service industry. Yeah, exactly. Um. them. Feed the, the, the standard when you and I were in the industry was like 15. So it's like, we would, it was, and we worked at a restaurant like on a given night, dude. And also the cost of, um. Food and alcohol and everything was a lot cheaper back then. I'm fucking 44 years old. So this was like back, this was over, this was like 25 years ago. But like, yeah, I mean like there was like shitty nights. I would walk out with like 50 and I'd be like, eh, well that's a day's Yeah. But back then though, that's probably a hundred dollars. today. I mean, it's not bad. there's some restaurants you go to, and I know these motherfuckers are walking out with three, 400 bucks because you know, we go in with our families. Especially me and you drew, like, they make a, they probably make $200 off one goddamn table. Can you imagine just a bartender here locally, like a, a Harry's or a Drake's even. Yeah. Those people are That's exactly, that's exactly. my point. Carson Or Tony's, a, not a Tony's, Carson's, and Tony's, but it's like, I bet they're making a lot. too. Oh yeah, I agree. Well, yeah, those places. A because they're getting tipped out by their server staff, right? So they're getting that. They got, there's big restaurants, but then you got people sitting at the bar who you're serving. So you're basically getting directly, you know, tipped by them. You know? So, um, for me it's all about like how much service was involved in making my thing, right? Same with you. Like if, if I go to a brewery and somebody pours three beers, then at the end of the day I'm gonna give them $3 on that, whatever that round. Sorry. If somebody has a really in-depth drink that takes them a few minutes to make and they're, you know, not a total dick. Yeah. And they're being interactive and having a conversation, you know, then I'm gonna tip them $3 for that one beverage because there's more time that went into it. And if they're an asshole. Yeah. You know, and just like not paying any attention because I mean, that's part of being a bartender. I think it's a lost art too. I think there's, It's definitely, it's definitely a lost, art. Yeah. there's a lot of that now where somebody like you go in. like A psych psychology degree to like deal with some of that Well, It's, like, it's like going about the cheers. The, The series. If you ever watched that like Ted used to love that show. Yeah. I Yeah. Ted Danson was a psych. Seriously, A psychologist. there. You know, Well, but you think about it now, I feel like a lot of that the art of that is, is vanishing in a lot of places. And I wonder because some of those people who are bartending are a little bit younger now, you know, did they, how they have interacted with devices instead of people. Has that changed a little bit? How they interact with and You also, you also talk about tips. So let's just, let's get away from alcohol for a minute. So if you do like order out, right? if I order pizza and they don't deliver, I have to go pick it up. Yeah. What do you tip? What do you tip there? There was a time when you weren't expected to tip there. Oh Hell, you go with Starbucks, there's tip if you go to Anything you buy now it's like, oh, here's something to fill out. I'm like, why am I gonna tip The most egregious situation? I've told this We've had this conversation a lot told this to both of you. We went to a local place It's called District seven. I'm gonna fucking go right in that and say it. and, had a bad experience there. Yeah. And uh, the venue was cool. We went with our families. It was fine. They have one of those beer tap walls. They give you a card, they check your id, and you pour whatever you want over a certain ounce, uh, amount They have to a a cumulative amount. Yeah. They're supposed to like reassess if you're still able to drink, but they're just like, whatever. long as you got one eye opening, sea count straight. something that's crazy. It's like 32 ounces. I'm like, motherfucker. That's like one beer for me. You know Right. But it's like after 32 ounces, you go back up and then they free it up and then you can get another, they give, they give you a field sobriety test. Yeah. But the field sobriety test is like, are you still awake? And I'm Can, can You tell us your name? Yes. Yeah. Okay. That's all we no. I'll be like, no. They're like, I don't care here. You, can, You said a word. It's fine. Yeah, yeah. You can just be like, and be like, just go ahead. I gotta get back to my iPad. Um, but. I'm over there like pouring my own drinks. You were there there? Yeah. me, drew. And um, I probably had like four beers That I poured myself. Four pictures I'm following, I'm following. And, uh, I went to go up to the cash register and cash out. And you get that little screen. How much would you like to tip? And they give you the options, right? There's like, the lowest one's probably 15. It doesn't start any lower than fucking 15. It's like 15, 20, 25. You're like, no, hell no. Yeah. And then, um, and then the last button is custom. You know what I mean? It's not even just like no tip, it's You also know they're watching you. Like I feel that pressure, Like you see the eyes, you feel the eyes on Well, they 100% work. so this was like a, like a hostess stand that I had to go pay at, and the hostess was back behind It It was a young girl, whatever. She fucking wasn't even old enough to wait on me if she was going to pour me beer, so, She would've had no interaction in that scenario if I had not been born, even if I had not. been pour my own beer. And uh, I looked at it and I just kind of was gonna default to like the $0 or custom whatever, and put in $0. And I just paused for one second, hesitated. And I looked at her and I was like, how people actually tip you when they pour their own beer? Yep. And a very simple, that's a solid question. It's a solid question. And like the logical answer would be, oh no, you don't have to. tip because you didn't fucking do anything. And she knows that. And she's gonna be a rational human asked me that and on the bartender, I'd smile and say, honestly, man, don't worry. PE People do different things. You don't have to worry about. You pulled your Yeah. That simple. And then you left that person a bigger tip. I would've, maybe I'd leave her like five. Yeah. But anyways, she like looks up from her phone. Literally, she was on her phone. She looks up and she was like, well, you can tip whatever you want. And I was like, but how much do people actually tip you? She goes, oh, you'd be surprised. And I'm like, would I really? Because I know you're fucking lying. no, I wouldn't. I'm was like, I wouldn't be surprised. Motherfuckers don't tip when they're pouring their own shit. But, uh, it just kinda like brings up this point. It's just like, has tipping got outta control? Like, Oh Yeah. And I know this is like a universal topic, but it's like everything you do now, everywhere you go, everybody's asking for a fucking tip. And even in the scenario where you're like, you're picking up your own pizza, like, I get it, you made the pizza. You're also making, it's also job to it's also you're getting paid to make the fucking pizza. Well, some something else that they've done since the pandemic was that they have added a separate delivery charge on top of that, and it's usually $5. Right? Yeah. So I'm like, well, who's getting that $5? If it's going to the restaurant, fuck y'all, you know, like Right. You're not delivering the pizza. This person who's using their gas money Yeah. Is delivering the pizza. then you still gotta tip 'em on top of that. Right. And so I, I look at that every time. I'm like, who is this$5 going to, you know? And I bet it's probably like 50 50. The probably the driver's getting half of it and the restaurant's getting the other half. When started doing, if we, if we order delivery at our house, so we donatos Papa John's, usually the top two there. If we order pizza. I will tip them in cash. And if it's a driver I recognize, I'll make sure it's a good tip. Like It's a solid 20%. At least, you order a lot lotted anonymous. if you know your driver, well, no, you'll recognize 'em though, right? Like they come the door. So, but if you, if I don't recognize 'em, it's like. here's, Here's whatever. But what I've found from that is when I've done that, they're much quicker. They're much quicker. it'll tell you in the app, Oh, it be 60 minutes. No, no. It's like 20. gonna be like that. Yeah. Oh, Jason, ordered there was somebody running to your house with the pizza. Oh, Jason did Jay snort or something? I, I got you. I I got that. one. Don't worry. Pushes yeah. He's like pushing people out of the way. He like, no motherfucker. that's my tip. I know what he's gonna do and that's Worth it to me to give him the extra three bucks. I guess. That's fine. Jason gets his pizza and there's cheese on the roof of the box. Like, what the fuck happened to this? it's all like shaken up and there's like toppings, like on the bottom and shit like stuck to the sides. me off on that though. When I order extra ranch or extra like dipping sauce, whatever, and they don't give it to me. I'm mad as hell. I am mad as hell. I'll call back. I'll call back. Well sir, we're sorry. We'll run out to you. I'm like. Nope. Next time you gimme a discount. like just Gimme, gimme something off, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Come Well, I'm gonna, uh, I'm gonna, while we're talking about tipping, I'm going to bartend for you guys. so y'all can tip me at our beautiful bourbon house, uh, uh, Airbnb. I almost forgot what, what it was called. Uh, appreciate you guys for letting us record here as usual. Uh, you can check 'em out@partyhouse.com. That's party, HOUS. And uh, I'm sitting behind this beautiful fucking limestone bar Concrete, concrete. Yep. It's definitely not limestone. I like, I was like, damn, dude. I mean, it's pretty fancy. but It's pretty a pretty nice, it is a very it ain't Limestone, but you know. Uh, But I'm gonna make you guys a Manhattan and uh, I'm gonna pick from, got Rye. you got a rye. You got a rye up Yeah. Okay. Angel, cmv. two 25th anniversary, 1792. We should probably not open that. I wouldn't use that one. Oh, there's a min julip This. Okay, so This is actually, this is their house brand right here. Never say die. If y'all haven't had this shit, it is fucking money. Yeah, it is. It is good. Yeah, it really is. Uh, so on that tipping side of things, there, there's been a trend with some places where the ownership group or owners have understood that tipping has kind of gotten outta control and they want to be a little bit more progressive and pay a living wage to their employees. Right? So what they have done. It said, Hey, instead of you having to pick how much you're gonna tip, and it varying all the time, we're gonna include an 18% gratuity on every single check. And so we know that that server is gonna get 18%. Like what are your thoughts on that? I'm probably better with that. I really am just like, let me know upfront When I you know we have it on the menu or whatever. Right. Instead of saying parties Of 10 or more. Just say everybody, every single I'm like, okay. And maybe 10 or more. There's a surcharge to that. It's But then, then also underneath that, maybe they put like, Hey, if you have exceptional service. feel free to tip more, and That makes sense to me. I'm okay with and I'm totally good with that. Like, I enjoy because I worked in the service industry and I understand how hard it can be to work, you know, to work a, a double or something like that, where you're running all, you're in the weeds and you're still trying to take really good care of your tables. Yeah. And then get screwed over because somebody's like, well, I give 10% to the church. I'm not giving more than 10% to my server. Um, which is do as you will. Um, but I know how hard that can be and so I appreciate when somebody goes above and beyond and they're like, you know what? I'm a 'cause to me, honestly, like, what's an extra five or $10 to me? That's kind of been a. mantra For me, is like that extra one or $2 will go a lot further with them than it will with, with every time I'm on the fence. If I'm, if I'm in a, if I've had decent service I always air higher just 'cause of that. Like thinking, You know, a roundup guy, like you am I going to do with an extra $2 in my pocket, you know what I mean? Like really, I'm, I'm, gonna, I can't even buy Coke. Like, you And, but you know, that server in this. this No. Hell no. Right. But you know, that server in that situation is going, oh. Well, that, that's a 25% tip. Yeah. Right. So they, they can do that math in their head when you add a couple extra bucks on there, they're like, oh man, this guy's gave me to me 25%. But, but on the flip side of that though, I get, so my son, my son's 18, so he'll go out to eat, take his girlfriend out or something, and you look at that. So if you're thinking, I'm gonna spend $40 on, dinner, okay? Mm-hmm. Which is, which is solid. That's fine. Then you think, oh shit, I got a tip. 20%, there's $8 on top. So my $40 bill. went to 50 in a hurry. plus I got tax on top of that. Maybe a hidden charge somewhere. So my $40 dinner turned into 55, 60. Like that's a big difference for a lot of people, especially if you're trying to budget going out. So I get it. And it puts you in a bad spot. like, Fuck, I really can't afford, I mean if you think about I really can't afford an extra $10 for this, this encounter some people, and, but I feel bad 'cause I wanna tip my server. So I'd rather the the already built in and just. expect it when you're there. Right. Um, well, and it's, it's like upfront pricing. You know, I think people feel more, more comfortable with upfront pricing. Like, you know what you're getting you an expectation going. into Exactly. And It does make you feel. but if you're a great server, it also limits you right? like it kind of hamstrings you like, because a lot of servers probably use 25 plus if you're really good. Yeah. Because I've had some really good ones I mean, really, boggles my mind that we're at 25 is 20, 25 is standard. And like even when you go on that little menu and like it goes up to like 30. and you're like 30 Fucking percent. man, but again, we think about it in two, there's a couple different settings. The people at Starbucks are making more hourly than somebody who's serving, making two 13 still an hour, right? So there's a big difference there. I'm much more comfortable paying somebody who's making two 13 an hour and is living off their tips than somebody who's at Starbucks. Again, depending on where you are, I know some places it's $15 an hour. Starbucks here is probably, what, 1250 Oh, I bet I bets. I bet it's 15. Yeah. But I mean like tipping those people, like that's like a churn and burn too. You're thinking dollar, dollar, dollar, you know. Yeah. Thousands of people a day. Like that's a with your living wage. I don't know. if, I don't think $12 an hour. is A living wage. but I mean I mean, well, cost of living in, in Kentucky or it's going up, but it's still like, also not two 13 an hour, you know? like a waiter Right. But that's my point is that. That's why I think it's crazy to pay to tip those places because they're relying 100% on the tips. Whereas the person at Starbucks is relying much less on the tips, you know, that's basically just like extra. Yeah. It's like icing So our, this situation. Our service was a little slow. We It was loud, don't loud. We don't have a, a rocks, we don't have like a ice cube big in there. So I mean, I'm gonna give you some of the, the chicken, the little drop from the chicken that we got earlier. Uh, it actually starts at 30%, sir, and then it goes up from there. I ain't signing shit. I out Here's, here's a partially used Chapstick. That's good. That's good. Solid. I want, I want that signed picture of your pasty white legs. Oh, Oh. Oh. I'll threw a beer at you, your tap bitch. You break it, you buy it. do you think about like an actual living wage? For example, we go to Hill Farmstead, a brewery up in Vermont. very nice brewery. Um, they do now, I guess. But remember there was a, very, there was a long period of time where they were very adamant about professing that they pay their employees a living wage, right? Quote, unquote. In doing so, they would tell all their patrons, do not tip us. They had it written on signs. a section for it, Like when you, when you No, no option. If you tried to give them a tip, they were instructed to tell you specifically not to tip. and They would say, we get paid a living wage. We don't accept tips here. It kind of like, it made me feel weird because you're used to tipping in that scenario, but I feel like there's also a liberating aspect to it. It's like I don't have to worry about, as minuscule as it is, I don't have to worry about that. I can just enjoy myself, Not worry about like, you know, what am I gonna compensate extra? It also makes me feel like the employer values the employee, Right. Like that, that makes me feel better. And It makes you respect the establishment. more, You know, and that was, I think that was their goal there. Not to like puff his chest out and be like, I'm Sean Hill, I pay all my employees more than you do. You know, I think he's, looking at, I'm not gonna try, just squeeze every dollar out of you. Right. So if my beer, if I'm charging you$8 for a beer, I only need five. But I'm gonna go ahead and charge you eight. It's a tip. And I get, pay them a good wage. Everybody's happy. You're happy to pay eight. I am, you know, whatever. it But it just keeps it clean, like in my opinion. If I was to have my own place, I know it's more expensive. I know you need to make more money to pay your employees that much, but if I can make it an option, I would strongly consider that and profess that because I feel like that's a boon to your service. Yes. That is a boon to your service. I don't think you would attract the wrong type of clientele. I think that's what a lot of people are afraid of. I think you would just attract like really more people in general because you're transparent about like everything and be like. Just come in, have fun, enjoy yourself, don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah. Just have fun, you know? Well, and I think there's been some people who are cynical of this idea and they're like, well, then my server can just gimme shitty service and you know, they're still gonna get 18%. It's like, well, that's true. But then they're not gonna last long, right? Because other people are gonna come in and want that job because they know that. There is no, you're not gonna get a 10 percenter, you're not gonna get a 12 percenter, everything's gonna be 18%. It's like, hey, if I averaged out when I was serving, if I averaged out and made 18% off every table, I probably would've done. Okay. Well we also have I, I go back in. when I was in first married in Lexington, my wife Angie, we would go to Meow Mushroom sometimes. And you remember Nick, who used to work at West Six? He was at Meow Mushroom. He was the best server. Nick, if you're watching Buddy love you. Miss you Yeah, but he, I think he retired from Westlake kind of thing, but he was the best server. Like whatever you wanted. No problem, dude. I got you. Yeah. Hey, what? Hey, have you tried this beer, bring you a sample. Like not even a problem. I'd always tip him 25, 30, 35. like Whatever. I remember walking in there one time. Uh, He don't work there anymore, so won't get him in trouble. But we were walking in. brother, brother, brother-in-law and myself were walking there before UK game at Repina here in Lake. And packed. Meow Mushroom. I'm like, shit, we're here there an hour half before Nick sees me. Hey Jason, how's it going? I was like, good man. What you doing? He is like, oh, I'm just here for, you know, I'm just here for a beer and get, get a slice. Oh man, I got you. He just brings me through everybody and sits me in somebody else's, not even his section like, just sit down here, I'll take care of you. I'll make sure to take care of. you. I'm like, so, you know what kind of tip he got? You know what I mean, but that's, that's the kind of service like. it's just Well, but, but then you think too, like if that's the culture that you have, right? If everybody was like Nick, right? Think about how many people would've gone to Melo Mushroom. They probably wouldn't have been closed, right? I mean, like no shit, right? But I mean, that's the thing. It's just like if you know that you're gonna get that level of service across the board, no matter whose section you're in, people are gonna be like, I want to go there because I know it's Or if you're at a brewery and you're sitting there. and like, If if they're doing table service, a lot of 'em don't anymore. But If you're at the bar, if my drink is this low or a little bit, a little bit above. Like, hey, you want another one? That goes a long way for me. Don't wait until it gets all, the I don't want it to be empty. well, I, I think what we got conditioned to is that we think that with the tipping culture and with people that are in the service, industry, if they don't make their tips, they don't make money. Yeah. But like you have to, you have to actually put into perspective what a living wage is. like. That is a lot of money. I don't mean like you're gonna be rich, but it's like, it's not fucking Starbucks wages. Like a living wage is like around like 20,$22 an hour. So like if you're in that position and you're thinking, well, shit, if I don't tip them, they're not gonna make money. And they're like, don't accept the tip. And they're like, you're thinking, oh, well I'm not gonna come there. Or people aren't gonna come here because they think they're gonna get subpar service by not being able to tip. Yeah. Like they're fucking making money. That's what a living wage is. like. If you can afford to pay your cl uh, clients, your, um, staff, Jesus Christ, I kept No, it makes, sense. Yeah. I'm if you can afford to pay them a living wage, they will provide better service because they know they're going to get paid. And they don't have to rely on it, and then they can enjoy their job too. All of a sudden the customers enjoy it. They don't have to worry about tipping. It's this fucking, whole like, It builds on It all works together. mean, you have me. at subpar. when you, said that, I saw that in mind. Yeah. I was like, oh, oh. I've said that a few times online, but whatever. Um, but under his, like his, uh, his secret name His no, no, it's my real name. Oh yeah. I'm married. Cock block baby. Come at me. Come at me. But you know, I think, I think it just shows you, you, you, I'm fine to pay for great service. Right? I mean, I am, I remember Nick. I'll never forget him. Every time I see him, it's, Hey man, what's up? Um, you know, I remember some other servers around telling, We've had some great ones, some bar, some beer tenders, whatever you wanna call 'em. There's some really good ones too. Or, you know, how, how far does it go if you're sitting there at the bar at any brewery, but one of our favorites, ethereal. And we're sitting there and, and I'll say, Kelly, you know, we're there hanging out and having a few Potts and she's like, Hey, have you tried this one? Yeah. And just brings you a little, little shot. little something to try, you know what I mean? Thank you for trying. Let me try that. I want something, I want, I want feel great about being there, It makes you think they appreciate your opinion, but also like they, they they notice you. you. Yeah, but also I gave Kelly a whole bunch of non-alcoholic bullshit and she's trying to peddle that off and she's like, Hey, do you all want to try this? fucking get rid of it. sorry, Kelly. We love you, Kelly and Brandon. That stuff is still there because I guarantee you still there. Yeah. She's getting negative tips because she's serving all this fucking Danny Trejos tequila alternative. You gotta Pay. You gotta pay the patron to take that one. yeah. She's like, I will pay you to drink this. Just take the Bottle. home. Just take it. it. Yeah. So, I don't know, man. I think that's a, that was a good, that was a good conversation. Yeah, Sound off on the comments. Let us know what you think about tipping culture and just go ahead and say it. It's fucking gotten outta Control, but it's warranted in some situations. I think everybody needs a living wage. but I'm just waiting. for can fucking afford waiting for Walmart to ask for tips. When you go in. Yeah. Were you going there. Yeah. did your, uh, self checkout concierge? Uh, meet your demands today. what's gonna happen is somebody's gonna pick up like a t-ball batter from the sports section and come and check it out, and it's gonna be like asking for a tip and they're just gonna break the fucking go to and the cameras and everything. Yeah. And they're like, sir, you can just tip right. if you want. Like, Drew's thought this out. He's like, like, ready? He's ready. He's rolls around with a T-ball bat in case they don't sell them. there. Yeah, Just you know those little bats that are pins? That's what actually, that's actually what I carry. ping, ping, ping, ping. Over and over again. Guys if you like this share it, uh, for more arsenic culture, you can check us out on all of the, socials. We are @arsenicculture, like, and subscribe on YouTube. Dammit, we'll see you on the next one. Dam it.